How to communicate with a teenager?
Communication with a teenager gives the majority of parents some trouble, and they begin, in most cases, when a child turns 13-14 years old. This is the age when parents should make every effort to learn to communicate with their grown children, who are not as flexible as they were several years ago. Each teenager requires a special approach to himself, therefore, on how to communicate with a teenager, specialists are given only general recommendations. But this does not mean that you will succeed at the first attempt to properly communicate with a teenager, to establish contact with him.
Rules of communication with a teenager
- A teenager is a personality, and every parent must remember this before communicating with a teenager. Let not yet fully formed, but a personality, it requires the attention and care of not less than the one with which you surrounded your child when he is 2 or 3 years old. Only attentive parents are able to notice that their child had some kind of trouble, that he was upset or worried about something.At the first sign of such a state, try to establish contact with a teenager, try to penetrate his personal life, but, without overstepping the face, which is very thin, and your too frank questions can cause emotional pain to a teenager.
- Difficulties in communicating with adolescents are primarily due to their puberty. At this age, adolescents believe that they have already become adults, they can do whatever they please, and parents' attempts to communicate with adolescents are perceived by them "in hostility." Psychologists recommend, especially moms, to begin a more adult communication with children, not when the moment when the adolescent becomes uncontrollable, but much earlier. This will help you to be closer with your child when the first love comes into his life, and when the peculiarities of adolescent communication on the street will negatively affect your, quite a few months ago, quite manageable child.
- In adolescence, it is very important how you address your child. If you want a teenager to take up lessons, you should remind him of his duties, but in a form that does not offend him.A lot depends on the manner of your speech at the moment, so try to speak with your child in a calm and confident tone, but do not shout and do not blame him. The fact is that if a child is offended by you, he will simply find communication in the street, which is impossible to prevent, otherwise you will “lose” the child forever.
Children in adolescence are picky for adults. But do not think that they can communicate well enough with each other - problems of communication among teenagers, if they are not solved, can turn into real tragedies that break the child’s whole life.
Tips for parents
Many problems in adolescence arise with learning. Children do not want to sit down for lessons that they seem terribly uninteresting, unlike socializing on the street, watching TV or listening to music. So that the student does not lag behind the school curriculum, so that his failure in high school does not become a problem for which he cannot enter the university he dreamed of for a long time, try to clarify this problem. Perhaps, for some of the subjects, a conflict has arisen between your child and the teacher.It is possible that your child behaved incorrectly in the classroom, rude to the teacher, because such communication between adolescents and adults is a daily occurrence. Therefore, you should go to school and talk to the teacher, and also communicate with the child, since you need to find out two sides of the conflict.
Teenagers are very emotional about what is happening. Moreover, their opinions change very often, as well as the mood. A teenager at this age can both defend their rights and quarrel with a friend with whom he has been friends for many years.
To help your child survive the most unfortunate moments in his life, learn to listen to him, but to listen actively, leaving everything to do, sitting next to him on the couch. Only such communication with adults will be useful for a teenager who still does not fully understand what is good to do and what is bad. Communicating a teenager with his parents should be regular, so try in your family to start a tradition of evening tea, common breakfasts and dinners, when the whole family gathers at the table and everyone shares their problems.
Do not allow teenage street culture to migrate to your home - you should try to keep the cultural form of communication in your home.Indeed, despite the fact that a teenager already only selectively imitates his parents, he still focuses on the principles of everyday life based in the house.